It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
