I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
