I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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