I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
