I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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