How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
