I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
