i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
