yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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