We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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