No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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