the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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