you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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