whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
