:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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