After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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