I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
