your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
