8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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