The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
