one might say we're banned from that church
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
