yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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