Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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