I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
