a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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