there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
