Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
