so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
