Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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