Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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