Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
