Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it's like iHOP with fire
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
