My liver just broke up with me...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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