it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
