let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
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I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
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Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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