How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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