so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
