When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
