Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
