dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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