People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
