I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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