I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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