The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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