Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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