I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
