On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize