i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's never too late to be topless.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
