I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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