Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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