I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
