keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am one with the molecules
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
