what day is it and did you see me today?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
