just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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