It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sorry about my life...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
