We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
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A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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