you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize