yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
