So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
