After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
whose parrot is this?
All the doctor said was why
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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