So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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