Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
