they need to just BURY HIM!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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