I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
honey bunches of taint.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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