Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
